Have you ever had an experience of losing somebody and your brain knows what’s happened but heart isn’t there yet? There is an intellectual journey and an idea that you might just power through if you can keep framing this loss into different perspectives. And that’s fine. These can be powerful methods and useful in certain situations. But your heart always catches up.
I just lost my grandmother on Friday and for about two days I existed in a pseudo life. There were plenty of things to be done and people to check on. I now realize that I was just shocked for a couple days. After a rehearsal on Sunday, the hearts truth started to catch up with me. And I felt deep sadness.
There is a gift in sadness sometimes. Love requires the possibility of loss, but in that way, we can finally get how precious the people in our lives are. I’m not going to see my grandma again in this life but I do get to see the people that are still here and I value the perspective my grandmother gave me. She helped me see them as precious.
Lyrics
I’m just checkin my levels
Test testin my lines
Think Im gonna be late tonight
I ain’t sweating the time
Im Getting stuck in production
My fingers stuck up in glue
But hold on wait Ill do a thousand takes
And mix it up for you
So when you’re breaking through
Here’s one last track for you to bring with you
(Go and play it loud just like we used to )
(Here’s a sonic boom so you be like new)
So you remember me when you find your way
To where you’re going to